The other day I consumed a gigantic pot of cheese. Sorry, let me rephrase. The technical term is fondue.

But I am getting ahead of myself. I’m going to make this blog like one of those movies where you already know the end (Kristin stuffed her face with dairy products!), but I’m going to start at the beginning.

One beautiful fall morning in 1989, my Mom gave birth to me.

Oh wait wait wait, let’s fast forward because that is too far in the beginning.

Two days ago I woke up and it was my 23rd birthday! Yes, that sounds better.

I decided, what better way to celebrate my mortality on Earth than indulging in a ridiculous amount of food? So that is exactly what I did.

I met up with Aude for lunch at La Crèmaillere, a two-story restaurant that specializes in crêpes and galettes.

There, I ordered a crazy delicious galette called the Mediterranean, which included an over-easy egg, salad with dressing, tomatoes, and chorizo. So. So. Soooo goood.

THEN (hold your breath, because I know you are just PSYCHED to hear what I ordered next), I got a crèpe with a salted caramel sauce. If I ever for some reason am on death row, this is what I will request in my last meal:

Absurdly delicious.

I went home and tried to sleep this off for a little while, and when Aude got back she brought me birthday sweets! This consisted of two réligieuses (pastries kind of shaped like nuns) and another pastry I don’t remember the name of (maybe that was La Charlotte?).

THEN, because I obviously had not consumed enough food within a span of six hours, I went to dinner at Le Chalet Savoyard, a rustic themed restaurant with a ridiculously delicious menu offering.

Being the extreme glutton I am though, I didn’t just settle for a gigantic pot of cheese. I first started off with a quiche, a salad, and a beer:

Nom nom.

Then I transitioned my way into the fondue, which included white wine, bread for dipping, more salad, little pickles and cuts of meat.

Oh so sumptuous.

Oh yeah, I believe it is important to mention that my two lovely roommates Aude and Elise were there with me. Because friends don’t let friends eat a gigantic pot of cheese alone.

Then, because it’s my birthday and I’ll stuff my face if I want to, I had a crème caramel and brioche for dessert.

I swear, it was way tastier than this poorly lit picture makes it out to be.

After that, my roommates rolled me home and I laid immobile in my bed as my body struggled with the Herculean task of digesting upwards of 6,000 calories.

Best birthday ever.